“My heart knows me better than I know myself so I’m gonna let it do all the talking.” -K.T. Tunstall
I recently made a change to my preferred mode of living. It has been a long time coming and is directed by realizations I have come to over the past few months. Rather than merely gaining a new understanding of these concepts, I have taken a step further and have started to live these ideas. The difference is pivotal.
1) Honor Your Heart. To me, this means allowing myself to have what I want in my world now, without waiting. That also means not doing anything that goes against myself. Flat out refusing to participate in situations that are not healthy for me. In loving myself and honoring my heart, I must put my own happiness first. There are times when compromise is necessary and I acknowledge that. But because I have been on the dramatic end of putting myself second too many times, leading to feeling hurt and exhausted, I choose now to stand firmly in being good to me.
Sometimes, it takes a little time to get back in touch with our hearts. They may have been ignored longer than we realize. Right now is always the right time to reconnect to what we want in our world. And nothing is too big a dream or too beautiful an experience. No one ever limits you more than you limit yourself.
I had to remember how to listen to my heart, to let its shy voice speak. It always knows what it wants, I just forget how to listen. To honor your heart is to allow yourself to have the experiences you want in your world. When you really master this concept, there is no more floating through life reacting to whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Rather, this is a new art, of living through conscious choice. The art of working towards where you want to be. Of only surrounding yourself with the people you choose to have in your world. You are never obligated to let someone in, if they are unhealthy for you. Its your life, you open that door.
2) If there is no laughter involved, then don’t do it. If there is no joy in something, then why pursue it? I look back at times in my life that I have convinced myself that I had to participate in a situation for some reason. Even when the situation was unhealthy, or unwanted and held no joy, I felt I had good reasons, important reasons to stay. I had forgotten that I had a choice. To stay is a choice, to leave is a choice. The type of situation we partake in is a choice. Let’s get a bit more specific. There have been times in my life that I was working in a stressful job, and I thought I had good reasons to stay working there. And, in my past, I have been in relationships that have been unhealthy and I felt obligated to stay for some important reasons. But I had not yet gotten to the understanding of number three…
3) Nothing is more important than you feeling good. We are never stuck unless we choose to be. There is always another alternative. I have a choice to go outside in the evening and stand under the open sky and take in its glory, its color and patterns, to breathe in the sunset and participate because it pulls my heart to soaring joy. And, if I choose not to, and I remain inside working, the sunset will always still be there. We are never separate from our joy, we are merely disconnected. Even if I choose to stay in a job that keeps me stressed out, the job that could have me happier is existing simultaneously. It is always there. I think that honoring your heart is allowing yourself to float in the flow of situations that bring you joy, to choose more and more of those until your life is exactly how you want it to be. If it is not how you want it to be, choose again. Not that simple, I hear you say. Because of a, b, and c reasons. Those are good reasons, but let me ask you, are those things you listed more important than being good to yourself? Perhaps no one has ever told you, NOTHING is more important than you. Seriously. Wrap your mind around that one. How are you ever going to be happy if you put everyone else first? Its not so selfish. You can be kind and caring for others on a much deeper level when you are first kind to and taking care of yourself. On the airplane, stewardesses always say, “Put on your own air mask before assisting others.” Why? You can’t help anyone if you can’t breathe. When you pass out, you are no good to them.
So if you are in a job you do not enjoy, but you feel obligated to pay your bills and feed your kids, etc. Realize, there is already a different job out there that you will thrive in, the perfect fit, something fulfilling that suits your skillset that will also pay the bills and feed the kids. Just like the sunset, it is out there, available always.
For me, honoring my heart is about participating in experiences that bring me joy, and choosing not to participate anywhere else. Its my life, and I am the designer. To me, going against myself is choosing to be anywhere or do anything that harms me, is not what I want, keeps my needs from being met, does not feel good, or has no joy in it.
This month, I listened to the deepest wishes, the truest longing of my heart, asking what its ultimate, most wanted experience is. And now that I know, I shall honor it by making that happen. Because I suddenly realize that everything is possible when I am true to myself.
My questions then for you are a reflection of what I have learned and shared. Look at your daily life. Is there joy in it? What brings you joy, where do you feel most alive? How can you allow more of this in your world?
Where are you spending the most of your energy? Is this a job, relationship, location, situation that brings you joy? If not, can you alter this situation to be a healthy happy place for you?
If not, can you honor your heart by letting go, and choosing again?
If you were to quietly listen, what does your heart want most? Are you willing to honor yourself by allowing yourself to have it?
We are all where we choose to be.
I wish you happiness.
